Why Getting Rejected Is a Good Thing
“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.” — Bo Bennett
Everybody hates to be rejected, whether it is for a job, a writing submission, or even by a member of the opposite sex.
Feelings of embarrassment, shame and humiliation come over you. Let’s not forget unworthiness and inadequacy.
What happens when people get rejected? They become depressed, unhappy and despondent.
I remember a few years ago I applied for a job in a technical support position in Florida. It was working for a city and you had to take a test so they could narrow down the field of potential candidates.
I flew down to South Florida from Atlanta and took the test. I felt I did a good job and waited for the results, which came weeks later.
Two weeks after the test I received an email that I achieved the highest score out of 110 people who took the test. Holy shit! I thought I did well, but never did I imagine I would receive the highest score.
The city informed me that the top 3 scorers would be interviewed for the open position. They would make a determination who gets the job when completed.
I was stoked and could not wait for the interview which was scheduled for a week later. Once again I hopped on a plane and flew down for the second step of the process.
I interviewed with two gentlemen and felt both conversations went well. I was confident, answered the questions correctly and had a good vibe with the supervisor I would be reporting to.
The plane ride home was a blur. I mentally started picturing myself in this position and living in Florida. I researched places to live, looked at the local activities and made plans with my cousins to hang out when I arrived.
I grabbed a few boxes from Publix and began going through my stuff to determine what I would take with me. I drafted my two weeks’ notice email to my current employer and started saying goodbye to my friends.
All I needed now was the official email welcoming me to the city as an employee.
The email arrives a week after the interview, as expected. I stare at the screen and am afraid to open it. This is the most excited I have been in a while and I am jumping out of my seat opening it.
I double click and open it up to full page size. I see:
Dear Mr. Davis I am sorry to inform you that you were not chosen for this position. We are going to move forward with another candidate.
My mind goes blank. Shock and awe take over my body. I can’t move a muscle. My heart sinks into my chest and my head starts pounding.
The rest of the day is a fog and I am walking around like a zombie with dead in my eyes. I was stunned beyond belief and could not even imagine that I did not get this job. It was right in my hands and then it wasn’t.
The next few weeks were the most depressed I had ever been and felt like my best friend had just died.
I must have replayed the interviews over and over hundreds if not thousands of times in my head. How could I have not gotten this job? I got the best score on the test and aced the interviews. What went wrong?
Light at end of tunnel
The good news about rejection is that the feeling does not last long and you will fight another day.
I did get another job and moved down to Florida after all. In fact the job I got paid more than I would have received from the city.
I know going through the pain and heartache of rejection is not a pleasant feeling. But if you get rejected time and time again you will become immune to the feeling. You will know that as long as you keep trying and not get discouraged you will be accepted.
What happens when you get rejected is that you learn a little bit each time about what not to do. You will improve in whatever you desired outcome is and the pain of rejection will dissipate.
